Kashish Pansari

Throwback to fourth standard. A new city, Mumbai. A new school. She had just moved and was trying to blend in. The school had this concept of extracurricular activities after hours, you had to choose something. And as she observed, “all the cool kids were going for football.”

So she thought, okay, chalo, that would be nice.

But there was just one problem. The ball. She was terrified of it smashing into her face. So two of her teammates came up with a solution. One held her against a wall. The other kept throwing the ball at her face. On purpose.

“Yes, yeah, it’s a real story.”

Back then, it must have been horrifying. Now? “That was very much needed.” Something shifted. The panic dissolved. And once the fear left, love for the sport took a whole new dimension.

Inter-school competitions followed. District level. Then came Zonals. Her team even qualified for the next round, where they were potentially representing Maharashtra at state level. It was that close, plans were being discussed.

And then the Diwali vacation happened.

Teammates were out of town. Parents tried persuading others to send their kids. But the team wasn’t present when they were supposed to travel. Just like that, the state-level opportunity vanished into thin air.

Her school coach later started his own academy nearby called Kopana Football School. She joined. And here’s something she mentions almost casually: she was the first girl in that academy. It was all boys. For a long time.

She trained regardless.

Gradually, her friends joined. Eventually, a separate girls’ team formed.

Position-wise, she has been everywhere. For the longest time, she was a goalkeeper, because she wanted to be in the playing eleven and the team didn’t have a keeper. Strategic move.

But something changed when her photograph appeared in a Mumbai newspaper, with her name mentioned separately for her goalkeeping performance.

“That’s when it grew on me.”

Goalkeeping had a kind of taboo, she remembers. Everyone talked about the striker, who scored the goal, but the keeper? Quietly crucial. Rarely celebrated. She liked that role.

Then she shifted schools in 8th standard. Trials were over. The team already had a goalkeeper. She had to approach the coach separately and prove she could play. She took her trial individually.

This time, she was placed as a CDM. She adapted.

In 11th and 12th, many players shifted to the IB section. Teams split. She was “low-key, the only person remaining.” Rebuilding from scratch wasn’t easy. Her game was solid till 10th. Then it took a slight pause.

But she didn’t stop.

College brought another beginning. When she joined Lady Shri Ram College, the football team was relatively new. They went for inter-college competitions. Recently, they placed fourth at Inter-DU. They won a major college tournament.

Right now, she plays as a defender.

Does she miss goalkeeping? “I have a soft spot for goalkeeping,” she says. But she also admits she feels slightly out of touch with it now.

Injuries? No major fractures. A minor ligament tear but she still played despite the physio advising otherwise. Her knees hurt if she runs too fast. “It happens to my mom also, so I think that’s genetic or whatever.” She’s used to it.

Emotionally, there were moments. A biased refereeing decision in 9th standard that cost them qualification. A yellow card once, her first and last, which left her traumatised. A recent match where an opponent scratched her mid-game.

“I started calling the ref like bro.”

They lost that match.

But pressure? She sees it positively. If the team is well bonded, pressure motivates. If not, it disrupts the rhythm. Personally, she uses it to give her best.

At one point, she wanted to pursue football professionally. Sixth standard Messi obsession, just like everyone else. But she has always had multiple interests. The professional dream faded naturally.

Today, she’s in her last semester. She has released her first song. She’s trying to figure music out as an independent artist. She hopes to make it there.

Football, though, isn’t going anywhere. After college, she plans to join a weekend club. Not professionally. Just to keep it alive.

Because “playing the sport keeps the inner child inside me alive.”

Her younger brother is now very into football too. When he started playing, she says it felt like such a “full circle moment.” Watching him with the same passion she once had, same spark, same energy, it felt surreal.

Today, football is part of her identity. Not the central thing in her life but definitely the thing that shaped her. And now, as she steps into music, releasing songs and building something new, she carries that same determination with her.

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